


spare keys

by neotericbitch



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M, Gen, dinosaur plush, doll - Freeform, xena - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 10:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neotericbitch/pseuds/neotericbitch
Summary: Alice's doll isn't going to make it to sectionals!!!!





	spare keys

After Valkyrie lay down the rug, Alice gathered up her various toys and trinkets and went and sat herself down right in the middle of the circular design. Valkyrie didn’t end up liking how it looked in the room, but she couldn’t move it now, so she busied herself with rearranging bookcases. She moved one away from the door, and then back again. Whatever change she tried to make here, it didn’t feel right.

Alice was faintly singing in the extra high-pitched voice she gave one of her dolls, holding it in one hand to make it do a jumpy little dance, her other hand making pose adjustments as the choreography called for it. The performance was accompanied with the sound of Valkyrie’s keys clinking together, as the ring had previously been manoeuvred around the doll’s neck. Alice put the doll into a neutral pose as her song petered out, and grabbed a plush dinosaur that had been laid by her elbow.

“I can’t believe how terrible you are,” said Alice in an exaggeratedly gruff American accent of indeterminate region. She crossed her arms over and back again as the dinosaur circled the doll. “You’ll never make it to sectionals with dance moves like that.”

She put the dinosaur in a chokehold as she attempted to keep her grip on it and take the ring of keys off the doll with the same hand. The keys slipped from her fingers, and like a truly skilled director she rolled with it and had the dinosaur stomp up and down on them. Alice mimed sobbing and then threw her doll away from her with all her might.

Valkyrie did not see any of this, only heard it and the short silence that followed. Her keys tinkled more quietly as Alice delicately picked them up for inspection now that her scene was finished.

“You have too many keys,” said Alice.

“Do I?” asked Valkyrie, a smile playing on her mouth as she turned around, leaning against the tallboy she’d been eyeing. “How many should I have?”

“Three. House, garage, car. That’s what mom has. You have a zillion, and they’re all different shapes and sizes. Do you collect them, or something?”

“Well, I’m not mum,” Valkyrie muttered. She came over and sat down beside Alice, crossing her legs. “I don’t think this counts as a collection. These are just the keys I need. There’s more than one door to lock in my house, and see this one? It’s for the front gate.” She took the ring from Alice and went key by key. “This one’s my car, this one’s for the shed. This one is the mailbox. This one’s the Bentley-”

“That’s Skulduggery’s car, isn’t it?”

Valkyrie was oddly pleased that Alice remembered that. “Yeah, it is.”

“Why do you have a key for his car? You have your own.”

“I might not always have my car with me. I might have to take his sometimes.”

“What about Skulduggery?”

“What about him?”

“What does he do when you take his car?”

“Uh,” said Valkyrie. “Wait for me, I guess.”

“Does he do that a lot?” asked Alice with very big eyes.

Valkyrie looked at her sister, then back to her ring of keys. “Oh look, you’ll know this one. It’s a copy of the key to your house!”

“What’s that one after it? Is it Skulduggery’s house? Why would you need keys to his house, can’t he just let you in if you visit? Does he have keys to  _your_  house?”

The answer came in the form of the front door opening and closing, followed by the sound of a large dog bounding upstairs to see her mistress, as if it had been an unknowable age rather than five minutes since their last meeting. Xena glimpsed and remembered Alice and grew even more excited, and just as the girl was starting to stand up she was bowled right over and licked to death.

Valkyrie let herself think for a moment that Skulduggery was still wearing a façade for the sole purpose of glaring at her, rather than to avoid Alice getting freaked out - though they both knew she would not. He was horribly muddied, more so than Xena, and just stood in the doorway with fake eyebrows raised at Valkyrie for a minute before he stalked down the hall.

Something in her gut bothered her and she scrambled up to her feet, leaving Alice at the mercy of her dog and hurrying out after Skulduggery. He had already folded his jacket over his arm.

“Hey - you know I appreciate you, right? Things you do and stuff you give me that makes my life a little easier - you know I don’t take that for granted?”

“I think you do take it for granted, but I don’t have a problem with that.” He did not smile at her with the façade, rather deactivated it and turned to her with his bare skull, a smile she liked more anyway. “It is nice to be reminded that I’m appreciated, though. Even if it’s glaringly obvious without words.”

Valkyrie grinned at him. “You’re a dick.”

“Yes,” Skulduggery said absently, disappearing around the corner.


End file.
